(This Footnote to History article was printed on page 2 of the December 20, 1954 edition of the Longview Daily News, and is reprinted word-for-word below.)
Duck Has Mental Problem—Thinks He Is A Bow Wow
SEATTLE (UP) — Now, you take George Dugan.
It’s a mental problem with George. He looks like a duck, the Mallard variety, and only by his feathers would the other Mallards know him.
Smokey, the Dugan dog. is willing to agree that George is a dog, too. most of the time.
Only at meal time does George look like a duck to Smokey.
Mrs. Dugan said they fight like mad at meal time.
“George likes meat and he tries to eat out of Smokey’s dish. It leads to trouble,” Mrs. Dugan said.
George likes spaghetti, but it sometimes throws him.
“He gets it all wound around his bill and goes mad,” Mrs. Dugan says.
But when the gastronomic battle is not raging, Smokey and George, feathers and fur, roam the neighborhood in jolly companionship, barking and quacking at cats and even chasing cars. That, too, leads to misgivings — on the part of drivers.
“Drivers are a little perplexed.” Mrs. Dugan says, “They’ve almost sheared off the mail boxes and climbed the bank when they see a big fat Mallard waddling after them.”

wow so funny and useless